I sit in this booth at Bonefish Grill with my wife, and as she journals in her leather-bound notebook, I take a few moments to reflect on the events from the weekend. We had incredibly moving services all weekend, each one receiving a true spirit of quiet reflection and celebration of our God and King. Hearts moved, refreshing encounters with Jesus, and all our efforts directed to this one purpose.
Yet I’m somewhat unsettled. I have a lot going through my mind right now, thoughts of the upcoming week and of the years beyond that, mixed with fear of and for that future, our future, my future. I hear echoes of the many compliments, reassurances and thanks that I am serving God right where I’m supposed to be right now. While I’m honored to receive those words of encouragement, they are also waged in battle against the deeply set desires in my heart to pursue other dreams I have yet to reach, other goals that have yet to be fulfilled. But plans don’t always go the way you think, and I admonish myself to remember that I’m still living the dream job many people would give everything up for.
Before we fled our house in favor of catching dinner rather than cabin fever, my wife and I were watching The Sound Of Music. Yes, while it’s not entirely accurate as far as what the actual Von Trapp family experienced, it’s still a timeless classic. It’s not just music and happy colors and needles pulling thread, it’s a very sobering look at the lengths a man is willing to go to save his family and his own life. In the face of an impossible future, Georg Von Trapp led his family over the mountains, fleeing an enemy that sought to force him to serve an evil purpose or face death. Some would call it cowardly; I call it courageous, an effort to continue living lives of peace and choosing not to serve under the oppressive thumb of a murderous Reich.
I’ve always been fascinated by the events of World War II. Life for millions of people became anything but business as usual when the Reich began its expansion. And yet, there’s been an invasion on the hearts of mankind since the beginning. Perhaps this is my fear, that I won’t live in the fullness of what I’ve been called to, what I have passion for. All the more reason to surrender everything to God, and that makes me pretty fearful at times as well.
So while I’m here, I’m going to try to surrender things one by one.